rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:55:19 AM): gnite mamma. i will give you your baby. promise
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:55:29 AM): really ?
rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:55:33 AM): yes
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:55:39 AM): ohh i luv u
rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:55:45 AM):
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:55:52 AM):
rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:56:28 AM): record your menstual cycle for me so we can figure the best days, ok?
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:56:48 AM): hehe..
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:56:53 AM): k
rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:57:12 AM): and you must feed me well to keep my sperm count high
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:58:06 AM): i am not patient to drink ur sperm bear.
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:58:18 AM): and pregnant ur baby
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:58:23 AM):
rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:58:58 AM): you are not patient? so you want to drink it and have it in your womb? Full?
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 10:59:27 AM):
rob Brown (7/11/2008 10:59:42 AM):
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:00:02 AM): i want to eat n drink all of u bear
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:00:11 AM): then we must do that every day for many weeks for greatest success
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:00:14 AM): mmmmmmmmmmm
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:00:19 AM): i cannot wait
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:00:37 AM): yes, me 2 pappa
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:01:12 AM): i want to put some spermin your ass too mamma…for luck
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:01:34 AM): for luck ?
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:01:38 AM): tummy, womb, and ass……98% in your womb i think
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:01:58 AM): must concentrate on the goal
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:02:21 AM): must hink “baby, baby, baby”
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:02:25 AM): yes bear..
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:02:25 AM): think
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:02:26 AM):
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:02:33 AM): i love it
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:03:01 AM): i will come befoe Afghanistan, or during my “mid-tour leave”
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:03:32 AM): and i will return for a month or two when I am finished with afghanistan, and try to get a job there
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:03:44 AM): ha ? so u will go to war ?
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:04:11 AM): i think i must. I have not received job offers yet. I’m still trying though
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:04:20 AM): pray for me
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:04:33 AM): k . always bear.
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:04:59 AM): i must go to be. I need rest and I don’t want to talk sex anymore
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:05:06 AM): gnite
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:05:11 AM): gnite
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:05:17 AM): sweet dreams
lucy_fere (7/11/2008 11:05:21 AM): luv u
rob Brown (7/11/2008 11:05:27 AM): i love you too

Mungkin karena aku terlalu mikir , bingung..girang..Rob mau datang , mau…lau pergi ke Afghanistan, apa iya aku sanggup klo semua itu terjadi..? apa iya aku bakalan sekuat itu klo Rob pergi di saat aku..tak dapat ku ingkari aku sungguh inginpunya anak darinya, aku ingin dia jadi …suamiku. tapi Mogan..? william..?

Akhirnya aku katakan ” Jangan datang ” bwt Rob…apakah ini bodoh ? setelah selama setahun aku menunggunya? ada begitu banyak hal menjadi pertimbanganku dan semua itu demi kebaikan Rob dan anak2, demi William n Morgan.meskipun aku tidak mengenalnya secara langsung tapi aku menginginkan kebaikan mereka sebesar kebaikan utk daddy-nya. Rob..aku harap kamu mengerti mengapa aku pilih semua itu. Setahun tak ada yang sia- sia..ada begitu bnyak kebahagian yang kau berikan untukku Rob, ada begitu bnyak hal yang kau ajarkan padaku…dan kalau saja kmu tahu ..kmu satu2nya orang yang ku inginkan untuk menjadi … i love u so bear..

rob Brown (5/28/2008 9:58:08 AM): hi sexy
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 9:58:24 AM): Pappa…
rob Brown (5/28/2008 9:58:44 AM): cant chat long
rob Brown (5/28/2008 9:58:58 AM): she came home last night
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 9:59:08 AM): ok
rob Brown (5/28/2008 9:59:08 AM): and is still here
rob Brown (5/28/2008 9:59:12 AM): but i miss you so much
rlucy_fere (5/28/2008 9:59:39 AM): answer my question before
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 9:59:44 AM): honey
rob Brown (5/28/2008 9:59:50 AM): which one? i 4got
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 9:59:54 AM): ahhh
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:00:24 AM): are u sleep with her when she is comes ?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:00:32 AM): not yet
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:00:39 AM): liar
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:00:40 AM): i mean
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:00:43 AM): i have not
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:00:48 AM): liar

rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:00:57 AM): why do you think so?

lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:01:17 AM): nothing. may be i am jealous
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:01:32 AM): i love it when you are jelous
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:01:37 AM): it means you love me
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:01:56 AM): mamma, I’m going to stop masterbating in july
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:02:09 AM): what d u mean ?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:02:38 AM): i will stop masterbating…making myself orgasm
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:03:21 AM): why ?
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:03:30 AM): coz ur wife..?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:03:49 AM): i must save it all for your uterus mamma
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:04:52 AM): u will come soon pappa..?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:05:10 AM): i think i can leave here by 15 July
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:06:00 AM): really..? muahh..
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:06:12 AM): i will have my passport by 15 June
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:06:27 AM): i need to check on visa requirements
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:07:04 AM): how about ur work ?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:07:49 AM): i will take several weeks vacation
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:08:11 AM): my wife will be so furious, she will finally leave me for sure!!!
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:09:50 AM): after visit me u will leave me honey ?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:10:24 AM): i must resign from the army and get a job in order to stay baby
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:10:34 AM): i’m still working on that
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:11:02 AM): i need an american job that pays $USD to keep me there
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:11:15 AM): ok.
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:11:39 AM): you don’t want me to have an Indonesian job, right?
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:12:47 AM): i just want u near me , about job up to u
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:13:13 AM): i need money mamma
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:13:19 AM): i’m 35
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:13:32 AM): need to plan for retirement in 30 years
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:14:47 AM): yes, i see . n u must have responsibility to the kids
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:15:19 AM): William’s birthday is in september and they start school then
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:15:33 AM): if i can keep the kids and get a job there….
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:15:37 AM): that would be awesome
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:15:58 AM): honey
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:16:08 AM): i don’t ecpect she will let me take them
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:16:10 AM): but
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:16:10 AM): yes pappa
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:16:14 AM): if she does
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:16:18 AM): is that ok?
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:16:24 AM): yes.
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:16:32 AM):
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:16:36 AM): i love the kids
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:16:39 AM):
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:17:08 AM): honey…..
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:17:26 AM): yes pappa..?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:17:46 AM): do you trust me enough to make more pix 4 me now?
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:18:30 AM): pix..? for what ? u will come soon.
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:18:54 AM): becaue i want to see you every day
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:18:58 AM): on my pc
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:20:45 AM): mamma
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:21:06 AM):
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:21:32 AM):
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:21:44 AM): be patient pappa.
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:21:48 AM):
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:22:04 AM): will you make pix for me?
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:22:14 AM): hey, take care of her if she is there.
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:22:28 AM): pix
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:22:28 AM): she will be angry if u ignore her
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:22:33 AM): pix
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:22:46 AM): stop changing the subject
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:22:52 AM):
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:22:56 AM): mamma
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:23:18 AM): yes pappa..?
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:23:26 AM): pix
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:23:32 AM): i have sent to u before
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:23:59 AM): i should say that to you everytime i make pix 4 u
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:24:12 AM): please mamma
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:24:33 AM): why do you hate is so much? u are beautiful
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:24:38 AM): and so sexy
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:26:12 AM): i dont like take a pix of me. bcoz..
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:26:17 AM): secret
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:26:44 AM): no secrets between us
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:26:47 AM): tell me
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:28:19 AM): ahhh
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:28:45 AM): coz i feel i’m not photogenic
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:28:56 AM): i think u r hot
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:29:18 AM): brb
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:29:34 AM): ok
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:30:31 AM): while i am gone, tell me why it is better to hide from me than make me happy…because i do not understand your thinking
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:33:25 AM): honey, i didnt mean hiding something from u
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:33:49 AM): but…
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:33:57 AM): you do mamma
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:34:05 AM): makes me sad
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:34:14 AM): i want a girl
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:34:20 AM): who trusts me
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:34:23 AM): and
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:34:34 AM): is comfortable with mr
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:34:35 AM): i trust u pappa
lucy_fere (5/28/2008 10:34:47 AM): and i’m really happy with u
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:35:12 AM): so…
rob Brown (5/28/2008 10:35:35 AM): why do i send you 100 pix for every one you send me?

Itulah sepenggal percakapan dengan Rob kemarin, dia mau dateng tapi aku bingung ..mesti di akhiri saja atau di lanjutkan…aku percaya dia menciantai aku tapi ada begitu bnyak hal yang tak bisa di selesaikan…begitu bnyak perbedaaan di antara aku dan Rob…Rob, dia bgt cerdas dan berpengalaman ..akan sangat menyakitkan baginya klo aku menghentikan setiap kegembiraannya..dia tdak pernah mengatakan soal pernikahan …seperti gantung diri..! Rob…harus bagaimana? William ..Morgan..apa aku sanggup mengambilnya ? aku takut…aku cinta kamu Rob, aku sungguh cinta padamu…

Berat banget mesti ngomong selamat tinggal buat Rob, aku msih cinta..sangat mencintainya..setiap kali mo ngomong serius , setiap kalli pula dia bilang ” Mamma, i have been studying indonesian every day” ya ampun Rob…bagaimana mungkin aku tega..? Rob… engkau satu2 orang yang ku inginkan. I love u Pappa..

Bodohnya aku..sempitnya pemikiranku …

Karena cinta aku menjadi begitu buta… duhh..apa aku pikir Rob berani meninggalkan pekerjaan dan keluarganya demi aku ? huh! mimpi yang begitu sempurna !! Bangun Cy… engga semua yang kita impikan itu harus menjadi milik kita, ada di saat kita harus belajar melepaskan apa yang kita inginkan…

atas nama cinta..? No way….!

Want my baby in ur tummy ?

Ahhhh..rasanya aku tak peduli lagi seandainya punya anak tanpa suami, tapi itu dengan Rob…aku tak peduli…tapi seharusnya klo dia sungguh cinta dia akan…

zzzz…….begitu tuh judul tread yang kemarin gw buat….Ahh…sayangku ..

rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:25:54 AM): Am I supposed to be jelouse?
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:26:21 AM): let me tell you something
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:26:43 AM): 1. I have had a shitty 6 months here trying to put my career back together
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:27:03 AM): 2. I am trying to be father and mother to two kids who compete for my time
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:27:26 AM): 3. They ask me to stop spending so much time on the computer and more time with them
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:27:55 AM): 4. My daughter starts to ask “who is that daddy?” and I’m not ready to tell her just yet and really confuse and hurt her
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:27:57 AM): so
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:28:20 AM): if you are upset that I’m am not chatting with you as often as before, I am sorry
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:28:23 AM): by the way
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:28:42 AM): I also broke my phone in a fight with my wife, so i cannot chat during the day
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:29:14 AM): I choose to put my son to bed at a decent time now (20:00) so he gets pletny of sleep, so that means I cannot stay up online late
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:29:52 AM): and I’m trying to be as good a father as I can before i go off to war and quite possibly get KILLED doing the #1 most dangerous job in Iraq right now
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:30:08 AM): so I am not interested in playing games right now.
rob Brown (4/15/2008 7:30:27 AM): Goodnight Lucy

Itulah chatt hystori paling menyakitkan dengan Rob, ketika itu dia menyapaku dengan “Hello” tak ada kata mesra dan panggilan “Lucy” itu selalu di berikan kepada aku bila marah. Uhhhh….akhirnya cinta itulah yang akan membawa dirinya kembali padaku. Thanks GOD.

Rob…setelah berminggu minggu saling diam akhirnya….mungkin dia bayar utang, dia tahu gimana rasanya di diamkan. sorry Rob, aku senang kepergianmu di gagalkan . aku tahu kamu cinta. aku juga tahu kamu satu2nya cintaku

Ternyata….jadi orang itu mesti sabar. aku aja yang ngga pernah ngerti …engga pernah percaya ma orang lain apalagi sama Rob…mestinya aku ngerti keadaan dia bukan malah mencurigai. Rob menyayangi aku. sungguh ..aku merasakan perasaan itu. dan cintaku untuknya bukanlah hal yang biasa.

Aku sungguh rela jika engkau bahagia..tapi setidaknya kau ucapkan selamat tinggal, biar kebahagiaan saja yang ku ingat tentangmu..sama seperti pertama kali ketika engkau menyapaku. aku sungguh akan mengerti mesti semua itu tak mudah untuk aku terima.Rob…apa kamu benar2 suka pergi ke Irak ?